Who am I ?

Warning! Empathy may occur...

Since there is no way to "gussy up" my life I will go with the brief, straight to the point description of me....


It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are
— E.E Cummings
 
Every great story on the planet happened when someone decided not to give up, but kept going no matter what
— Spryte Loriano

   

  I am an only child raised by a, more than, slightly neurotic single mother. My father was murdered when I was 7 years old over a drug deal gone wrong. At a young age my uncle molested me and left me with unfathomable scares. I have been unfortunate enough to watch several people die in my arms. One of them was my son when I was only 17 years old. I attended 13 different schools an unquestionably know what it is like to be "the new kid." I am an extrovert; master of disguising depression and lots of insecurities. I grew up thinking God had forsaking me.

    That thought process lead to... bouts of alcoholism and drug use, high risk decisions, and a lot of preceding regrets. My past sexual relationships have been comprised of both male and female. I seem to always be chasing my idea of love, missing at every try, still figuring out how any of it all happened. I have 3 children, still living. I struggle with my own self-competence to nurture and raise my family with all life’s issues to sort out. I feel I have failed them many times, but despite me they have become good hearted people.

    I am currently a Christian with a ton of flaws, but I now have hope. I believe that hope has a recipe, and the ingredients are free and attainable; by everyone. My true purpose is still not clear to me, may never be, but I instinctively gravitate to those suffering emotional turmoil and I do what I can to always help people. I have chosen to open myself so that others can find closure in them.

So it is not really about who I am, but who I believe I can be!

It is never too late to be what you might have been
— George Eliot
 
Don’t exchange what you want most for what you want at the moment
— Lynn Greenling